Well, That Was a Bust.

I look like I’m just taking a cat nap, right? Actually, I’m in a drug-induced haze. In fact, at this moment, I felt so drugged my lips were tingling.

Let me back up. Per my previous post, I am currently enduring my second round of the vertigo rodeo. Typically, vertigo is treated with a medication called Meclizine. I, however, am incredibly sensitive to medication, particularly those that can cause drowsiness, as Meclizine can, so I held off on taking it.

But I’m on day 12 of being more or less house bound, and I really needed to get out to take care of a few things yesterday. So, somewhat against my better judgement, I decided to take half a Meclizine pill that my doctor had prescribed to me in what he called a “grandma dose”. No offense to the grandmas out there.

At any rate, half a grandma dose proved fully too much for me. I got so tired, I was in a middle-of-the-night sleep in the middle of the day. My husband took this photo when I woke up, and I was completely dazed and confused. And this was a full TWELVE HOURS after I took half the grandma dose. And this was my second nap of the day. I managed to stay awake until I crashed for good at 8:30 PM, fifteen hours after first taking the medication.

So, obviously, drugs are not the answer for me, and I’m just going to have to gut this vertigo out. Tomorrow, I’m going in for a procedure called the Epley Maneuver, where a physical therapist moves your head in a precise pattern that’s supposed to re-align your inner ear crystals that apparently go akimbo when you have vertigo. It helped me the last time, so fingers crossed it will work again. (If you’re wondering, I didn’t go for the Epley sooner because tomorrow is the first appointment I could get. We live in a small town and apparently the physical therapy place is a hot ticket).

Even if the Epley Maneuver helps, it won’t be instantly. My experience is that vertigo recedes slowly. It’s not like flipping a switch.

In the meantime, I’m doing my best to remain mindful and in the moment. I continue to remind myself this is far from the worst thing that could be happening to me. I remind myself there are many people dealing with much bigger problems, and I have compassion for them.

I’m doing my best to let go of my plans for how I was going to be kicking off my year, as I definitely had bigger things in mind than sitting around.

But here’s the simple fact of the matter. Whether I like it or not this is what’s happening now. And the more I can embrace it and let go of what I think could or should be happening now, the better off I’ll be.

Easy to say. Much harder to do. But I’m giving it my best shot.