My New Dawn.

If you’ve been reading for a while, you know I love a good walk at dawn. It heals me and fills my soul in ways I can’t adequately describe. There is just something about the stillness of the earth at that hour that speaks to me. Plus, I am usually rewarded with beautiful plays of light. It’s worth getting out of bed for.

But my dawn walks are now taking place in downtown Minneapolis, and let’s just say it’s less peaceful. Even at six AM, busses and trucks are roaring, cars are humming along, and I am joined by many other early morning walkers, bikers and runners.

Every morning, I’m wondering what all these people are doing in “my” dawn. 

Suffice to say, my walk isn’t really giving me what I need. I am an introvert, and I crave solace, but I can officially tell you solace is difficult to come by when you live in an apartment building in an urban area. I guess that’s obvious.

Periods of quiet are essential to my ability to manage my anxiety and fatigue, and I’m not getting enough of those lately. So far, that hasn’t sent my anxiety into a rage, but you can believe I’m paying close attention. I’m also doing whatever I can to carve out moments of solitude. I’ve created a tiny nook in our bedroom for just this purpose, and it seems to be helping.

I’m telling myself not to get too worked up over any issues I have with apartment life, as it will be over in two months (see previous post if you are confused).  My verdict so far – I don’t urban living, and I’m not unhappy, but it’s definitely not for me long term.

I need to watch what I wish for, though. By July we will be living in a town of 400 in the Virginia countryside, and I will have all the solitude I could ever hope for. 

Life is a balancing act, right?

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