I’m Back in the Game!

I was down for the count the last two days due to over exertion (see previous post). Yesterday I was so tired I felt physically ill and could barely function. On days like that there is nothing to do but rest, wait out the day, and hope the next day will be better.

Well the next day is here, and it is much, much better. I woke up feeling like myself again, so I hit the treadmill for my usual Hour of Power. It felt fantastic.

Holy cow, did I feel terrible the last two days. I knew it was bad when it was happening, but I never realize just how bad it is until I feel better and have a point of comparison. It’s such a relief to feel good again.

And here’s something else I’m relieved about. When I was feeling badly, I was able to keep it in perspective. I could see there was a logical reason for the way I felt (over exertion plus low stamina), I knew rest was the only remedy, and I had 100% confidence I would get back to feeling better in due time.

This was not always the case. Previously when I had down days, I would get lost in unhelpful thought patterns. What’s wrong? Why is this happening? Am I going back to the beginning? Will this ever pass? Is something new wrong with me? Of course, none of this helped me feel any better, but I did it anyway.

I didn’t do that this time, and it represents an important shift in my thinking. I am starting to have confidence in my recovery. I am starting to believe I can be something other than a patient. I am starting to see a brighter future for myself.

When recovering from a long illness, the mind game is critically important. The mind takes just as strong of a beating as the other parts of the body. It becomes conditioned to being sick. It starts to believe being sick is the only reality.

I’m learning that as my body continues to heal I need to make a conscious decision to bring my mind along for the ride. I need to break old, unhelpful thought patterns, and start new, more helpful, more hopeful ones. That’s very easy to write, but very difficult to do. Eight years of being sick will wear a person down.

But I am rearranging my thinking. Little by little. One day, one hour, one minute at a time. It’s one of the hardest things I have ever done.