I Don’t Feel Well.

There’s never really a good time to not feel well, but feeling ill on vacation is a particular bummer.

We travel quite a bit, and I typically have good luck in terms of how I feel. Somehow I just rally.

No such luck on this trip. I am having lots of nausea, and my stomach is out of whack to the point I am extremely bloated. The bloat is clearly visible and definitely uncomfortable. It’s like there is pressure inside my tummy pushing out. My belly skin feels strained. Stretched.

Because the gut and the brain are closely linked (most of your serotonin is produced there), my brain is out of whack as well in the form of increased anxiety.

On top of that my allergies are flaring and my ears are clogged to the point of causing equilibrium issues. I actually broke down and took pharmaceuticals for that (not my usual choice). The ear pressure improved, but I am jumpy from the medication due to my poor ability to tolerate it.

Let’s just sum it up by saying I was hoping for something different than what I’m experiencing.

I’ve been in this movie before, and I know I have two choices. 1) I can get twisted up in regret, resentment and disappointment, or 2) I can accept the situation for what it is, and make the most of what I have to work with.

Option 1 is tempting, and I make brief visits there, but option 2 always brings me more peace. It takes a lot of energy to resist something I can’t do anything about, and I have found that letting go of a situation can provide a certain degree of emotional freedom. It also frees up energy to be used in more productive ways.

Like watching my daughter take a surfing lesson, which I’m doing in this photo. I’d like to be out there with her, but that’s not possible today. But I’m here, I’m participating in my own way, and I am storing memories.

And that’s the framework for how I’m handling this trip. It’s not exactly what I wanted, but it’s what I have. I am still laughing, I am still having fun. I am still loving my family, and they are returning it. When I feel well, I am savoring it. Deeply. When I don’t feel well I am participating as best I can, while keeping my mind as open and accepting as humanly possible.

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